Long time, no post, some BIG changes

So I know I had said about a month ago that I’d post in 2 weeks; obviously that didn’t happen. We are told to expect the unexpected in Peace Corps, and sure enough, I’ve gotten the unexpected; the ultimate in unexpected.

The day after my 23rd birthday (which was fun; we just hung out, played cards, and attempted to make candied popcorn, which was delish even if it didn’t come out right) we were put on standfast for a couple hours, followed by consolidation. Those are Peace Corps speak for not being allowed to leave your village (standfast) and then all volunteers/trainees being placed into secure areas, like the regional hostels or, in our case, the training center in Hamdallaye (consolidation). We were told that the reason being the consolidation was there had been an attempted kidnapping of embassy workers in Tahoua (a town about 500K from Hamdy), carried out by the Islamic Maghreb faction of Al-Qaeda. As a precaution, all vols. and trainees were put into consolidation, since nobody knew whether or not the attack was geared specifically towards Americans or not.

We continued with our classes at the training center, which I didn’t mind at first but after a while I, and a lot of others, were starting to get really restless and stir-crazy since we weren’t allowed to leave at first (although later on, they let us leave in groups and only during the daytime). I also started to miss my host family, my village, and having my own space. We were originally told it would last a couple days but it wound up lasting 2 weeks. During that period, I developed an addiction to Six Feet Under, since I had heard about the show, had been told I would like it, and Erin has the DVDs. I also developed Giardia, which was, pun intended, really shitty. Take the wateriest diarrhea you can imagine and multiply it by 10. Sorry to be gross, but bodily functions seem to be a totally normal and acceptable conversation topic amongst us. It was the first time I got sick since being in Niger, and I guess the training center’s not a bad place to get sick because there’s an air-conditioned infirmary and flush toilets with toilet paper. I knew it was going to happen eventually (fun fact: Niger has the most cases of diarrhea per volunteer than any other Peace Corps country) but I survived and I’m doing much better now.

So the day before Thanksgiving (and the day our consolidation was supposed to end) our country director was scheduled to come in and talk to us. The rumors started buzzing and people were wondering what she was coming to talk to us about. I just figured she was going to update us on the situation, and maybe consolidation would be extended another couple days.

Wrong.

She informed us that Niger was still staying open to Peace Corps but they were trying to cut down on the number of people in the country for security reasons. Current volunteers have been offered I.S., COSers went home early. And she told us that since we were easier to move than installed volunteers and we were still new to Niger and didn’t really know what normal and not normal look like in Niger, we weren’t going to be able to continue as trainees and volunteers in Niger.

They were planning on sending our entire training class to Madagascar.

As I write this, I am in Paris, about to make my way to Antananarivo, the capitol of Madagascar, where I will start training all over, swear in as a volunteer, and complete my two years of service (well, hopefully). Madagascar closed to Peace Corps in March because of a coup, but we will be reopening the country! It’s exciting in that regard and I’m pretty sure moving an entire stage to another country is a first in Peace Corps history, but I’m nervous about the stability, in addition to many, many other things.

It took a while to hit me. I know evacuations happen in Peace Corps sometimes but I really didn’t think it would happen in Niger. Niger has been open to Peace Corps since 1961 and has NEVER closed, even with military coups. Our country director had brought a couple of volunteers who had served in M-car and transferred to Niger to tell us about the country. I listened, but it still hadn’t hit me. Twenty minutes later, I completely broke down in the refectoire (where we eat our meals), sobbing uncontrollably, and couldn’t stop for the rest of the night and even the next day, Thanksgiving (although I had it more under control by then). This was also while I had Giardia, so I was feeling doubly horrible and couldn’t even resort to eating my feelings on Thanksgiving, (even though people prepared some awesome food) because nothing stayed down. Or in, rather.

I REALLY didn’t want to leave Niger; I still wish I didn’t have to. When I first found out I was coming to Niger, I was kind of intimidated because it’s the least developed country in the world, but I absolutely loved the 6 weeks I spent there. While I encountered a couple frustrations, I still had an incredible time. My host family was amazing, as are all Nigeriens. I loved my fu (Zarma for house, and I loved inserting Zarma words into English sentences), a little hut with a decent sized enclosure and a huge neem tree providing shade almost 24 hours a day. I loved sleeping outside, with just my mosquito net separating me from the vast sky filled with stars. My family’s concession contained sheep about 10 feet away from my hut, countless roosters that ran around everywhere, and two cows right on the other side of my wall. Although the sheep and roosters woke me up at 5 a.m. every day (and if they didn’t, the 5:45 a.m. call to prayer took care of it), I loved my hut, concession, and training village (way better than Hamdallaye, where the Hausa speakers lived). I LOVED the heat; it was well over 100 everyday our first few weeks here and got cooler in November. It’s freezing in the mornings now (and by freezing I mean probably low 70s). And I really *was* looking forward to hot season, where its 90 by the time you wake up and gets up to 130 in the afternoon. I loved the wave of confidence that came over me when I could string together two sentences in Zarma and carry on a rudimentary conversation with someone; sadly this just started AFTER I found out I was leaving Niger.

I had mentally prepared to come to Niger, an impoverished country, and work as a Community Health Agent. I had expected, and embraced, not having electricity or running water, peeing in a hole, showering with a bucket, having to dress and act conservatively. Niger is truly the real Peace Corps experience; more focus on integration, we don’t learn the colonial language, no running water, electricity, or frequent internet. While applying to the Peace Corps, I spent lots of time researching each country I could potentially be invited to serve in, and I stopped researching Madagascar because it closed and I thought there was no chance I’d ever wind up there, so the whole not knowing thing freaks me out too. From what I’ve heard, Madagascar seems very different from all of that when the two volunteers were telling us about it. It’s much more liberal and the people there don’t really consider themselves African, and while it’s technically a part of Africa, its nothing like the rest of the continent. It’s got a lot more infrastructure and tourism, and isn’t as underdeveloped as Niger. There’s a lot of Asian influence and the people, culture, geography, etc. are different from anywhere else in Africa, let alone the world. In that regard, it seems exciting, and slowly, I started to warm up to the idea. However, we were told that Madagascar might not be able to take all of us and some people would be placed elsewhere in West Africa, so I talked to my training director and volunteered to be one of the people who stayed somewhere in West Africa (we were told Mali and Burkina Faso could be possibilities, and I would’ve LOVED to serve in Burkina; it was at the top of my country “wish list”). Some people immediately seemed sold on going to Madagascar, and I wasn’t one of those people. I had wanted to be a volunteer in Africa and get the true Africa experience and the true Peace Corps experience, which seemed more possible in West Africa than in M-car. It wasn’t that I was unwilling to go to Madagascar; I’d just be willing to be one of those who was separated from the group and serve elsewhere.

I was told the next day that all of us, except for those who were not medically qualified, would be going to Madagascar. I was, and still am, more than willing to go, but I was skeptical. My sector also changed; instead of doing health I’ll be doing Secondary English Education, which also threw me for a loop; I didn’t think I was qualified to do anything *but* health. A lot of people who are strong in French got placed in education, so I wonder if that has something to do with it. I love kids, am passionate about education, and possibly want a future in education, so I’m starting to warm up to it. I still plan on seeing if I can do health-related secondary projects.

So all over again, just as I had been prior to leaving the states for Niger, I wear myself out by vacillating between being really excited and being really scared, nervous, anxious, etc. And it changes several times a day as well. Disappointment and anger still linger as well, however, despite me sounding kind of negative right now, I really, truly am grateful that Peace Corps has worked this out for us. If the opportunity to send us all to Madagascar hadn’t arisen, I’d be back in the states and trying to re-enroll. It sounds crazy, but I think that this will be a bigger adjustment for me than coming to Niger was. I’m familiar and comfortable with West Africa; I feel at home here. Niger didn’t feel like a huge leap for me because of my experience in West Africa; Niger is a lot like Senegal, except hotter and more conservative. The work in Madagascar also seems a lot more structured as well (especially since I’m doing education) thus prompting more nervousness at how much more responsibility it seems like I’ll have. Teaching methods, commanding students’ respect, grading, how to grade, how to operate within the Madagascar school system, etc. I’ll be teaching at least 15-18 hours a week to the equivalent of middle and/or high school students. I’m really looking forward to being taught how to teach; the Madagascar volunteers said it was a good program, and I definitely need all the help I can get.

I also know, deep down, that once I get there and get acquainted, things will be okay and I will love it. I try to tell myself this, but often, other thoughts crowd my mind, and it just still seems so unreal that this is actually happening. I also usually believe that things happen for a reason; I believed that the reason I didn’t leave for Peace Corps in July like originally planned was so that I would be able to come to Niger, the poorest country in the world, and be able to do great work and help people just meet basic needs. I’m trying to think this way about Madagascar, I want to think there is a reason its happening, but I’m not sure what it is yet. I guess I’ll find out soon

Kudos to you if you made it through the epic length of this post; next time I post it will be in Madagascar!!

Dont worry, im alive!

So this is the first chance I've had to use internet since I've been here. I really don't mind the absense from technology though. I'll post a real entry next week when we go to Niamey, but just wanted to let you all know that I am here, I'm safe, I'm happy, healthy, and hot (and this is supposedly the cold season...)

More of a comprehensive update to come next week, inshallah.

Last night at home :(

I'm all packed (except for this laptop) and both bags are the appropriate weight (although the duffel is pretty big; I should check to make sure it falls within the appropriate length and width measurements, but it is 50 lbs. and my backpack is 30. go me!)

Just wanted to quickly update before I go to bed (I have to be up at 4 in the morning) as I probably won't be able to write much in the first few weeks; it sounds like they are going to keep us pretty busy!

I'm excited one minute, nervous as hell the next. It's really exhausting. I didn't think I'd be nervous when I got to this point, but now that its actually happening, I am. Monica said its good I'm nervous; there'd be something wrong with me if I didn't feel at least a little of that.

Here's my address; I'd love to get mail, even if its just letters on how life is going in America:

This will be my address during training; it will change after I officially swear in as a volunteer in December:


(My Name)
Corps de la Paix
B.P. 10537
Niamey, Niger

Instructions
1.Write “air mail” or “par avion” on letters and packages. They should take anywhere from two to six weeks to get to me.
2.Number letters so I’ll know if one goes missing.
3.Write the address in red ink; people are superstitious about it and will be less likely to open it or steal it. Also drawing religious symbols on it or Bible verses; you could also put “Sister” in front of my name (haha). All of this will make people less likely to open it. However, don’t overdo it with the religious paraphernalia; otherwise I may get in trouble with the embassy.
4.Tape the corners of the packages so they will endure the trip. Also, putting tape or stickers on the inside of the flaps will make it easier to tell if someone tried to open it (and it may deter people from doing so in the first place).
5.Use padded envelopes whenever possible, as they are cheaper for both you and me. I may have to pay a tax on boxes, especially if it’s big or its contents are expensive. So don’t declare the items as expensive; keep it under $20.
6.When declaring the contents, keep it vague. Write “educational materials”, “personal hygiene items”, or “nutritional items” (for food), etc. If it doesn’t sound exciting, people will be less likely to open it. If you are sending me batteries, you have to “forget” that you packed them, as the U.S. won’t ship them overseas.


Next time I post I'll be in Niger!!

overpacking, maybe?

This is (most of) my stuff strewn out across the guest bed. Now to make it all fit into 2 pieces of luggage and weigh less than 80 lbs. And about a hundred other tasks to accomplish before Tuesday morning.

Five More Days!

So already I'm not updating this thing as much as I had planned, but nothing too exciting has been happening since I moved back home a month and a half ago. I've been watching TV, eating lots of crap, enjoying my bed and hot showers, and basically just trying to soak up all the American-ness I can before leaving.

I've never experienced such a roller coaster of emotions before in my life (and I used to take meds for bipolar disorder). For almost a year I struggled just to get an invite, feeling only excitement, no nervousness, no doubt, about finally getting that invite and starting my service. Now, my emotions are all over the place. I sometimes get random and very intense panic attacks and think "oh my God, I can't do this," even though I know, deep down I can (maybe because I've had people telling me my whole life "you can't, you can't." Maybe I just psych myself out a lot). I sometimes think "what if the Peace Corps made a mistake and they really dont want me? What if I get medically separated, since I've had to clear so medical hurdles in the past? Will I want to start the whole application process over again, over the course of another year and THEN do two years of service when I'm in my mid twenties?

And then, there are the times where I get SUPER excited. The past few days I've been bouncing off the walls excited. While at my grandparents house, I sifted through some of their travel books, looked at pictures of Africa, and was like, "omg, I can't WAIT to get there and actually LIVE there!" Ditto goes for when I read peoples' blogs and read about what they are doing, and I'm like, "yeah, that's EXACTLY what I want to be doing with my life right now."

So right now I've got a bunch of stuff strewn out on the guest bed, yet to be packed into my 2 pieces of luggage. I'd like to do a "trail run" of packing before Tuesday to see if everything fits into my luggage and is the appropriate weight. I'm probably bringing way too much stuff; i should take a picture of what the bed looks like with all my stuff on it.

Alright, off to calm myself down again because I'm experiencing another bout of nervousness.

My crazy application timeline

When I applied to the Peace Corps, I had heard the application process was long and tedious. I had expected this but had no idea how difficult it would really be. It lasted almost a full year and included a successfully appealed medical rejection. In a way, I'm kind of glad I went through it because I was sure that it was something I REALLY wanted; i wouldn't have gone through with all of this and fought so hard for something I was only kind of interested in. My actual Peace Corps service will require lots of patience and flexibility, and nothing has taught me more of those qualities than the application process.

I have a stubborn streak a mile long, and when I want something, I make it happen. I wanted to go to K College, wanted to go to Senegal, I made it happen. I wanted to get to know the cute new guy at work, now he's my boyfriend. After being in Senegal and meeting volunteers, I KNEW I had to be in the Peace Corps and having it almost not happen made me fight even harder. I hope this helps future volunteers or current applicants; it can be a difficult process, but I believe my service will be much more valuable because of all of this.

Ok, here it is:

Early July 2008 – Started Application

August 22, 2008 – SUBMITTED APPLICATION AND HEALTH STATUS REVIEW

August 25, 2008 – Received call from recruiter; said I qualify for 2 of the sectors I requested and I would likely be placed in French West Africa with my language skills. She said that the Peace Corps is expecting a higher volume of applicants for 2009 and there were going to be fewer spots and therefore more difficult to receive an invitation. Therefore, she is sending me info on the agriculture sector and that I should seek agriculture experience in order to increase my chances for being invited to the Peace Corps. She also said a recommendation from a volunteer supervisor was a good idea to show that I have experience in volunteer work; people in Washington, D.C. will be reading my Peace Corps file and need to know this.

August 28, 2008 – Received fingerprinting charts, national security background check, skills addendum, and info on programs I qualify for in the mail

September 5, 2008 – sent in finger print charts, national security background check, and the skills addendum

September 11, 2008 – Recruiter sent me an email; says she has received my additional info and is still waiting on references and transcripts. She says I can go ahead and set up an interview

September 15, 2008 – Set up on campus interview for September 30, 2008 at 11 a.m.

September 30 – Interview on campus with recruiter; she does not nominate me right away, as not all references have come in and she wants to nominate me for a TEFL program, but says I need more experience first. However, she says if a health extension program opens up, I can be nominated for it

November 25, 2008 – I find out that I am nominated for Health Extension in Sub Saharan Africa in July 2009; the email was dated November 20; I need to check my yahoo mail more often. In any case, nomination!!! YAY!!!

November 26, 2008 – Receive my medical packet

January 28, 2009 – Sent in Medical packet overnight

January 29, 2009 – forgot to include the bitewings x-rays; send them in, not overnight, just regular mail

February 4, 2009 – Receive email that Peace Corps has received my medical packet

February 6 2009 – My dental packet gets sent back to me, saying its incomplete because the bitewings are not included (even though I told my screening assistant that they would be coming later); send it back and tell the dental person to wait for the bitewings

February 19 – I am told that the forms from my therapist finally arrived; now they can start the medical clearance

(Sometime in this period – find out bitewings have still not arrived; request another copy from the dentist and send them to the Peace Corps)

March 7 – Dental packet gets sent back to me again because I need to have interproximal cavities filled

March 26 – get cavities filled; ouch!

March 27 – send in dental packet AGAIN

April 2 – DENTALLY CLEARED (via email)

April 7 – receive notification of dental clearance in the mail (the letter is dated April 3)

April 23, 2009 – receive email notification (at 5:15 a.m.) that my toolkit was updated; it says this: “All nominees have a medical hold while they are under review. No further action from you is required, unless the Office of Medical Services contacts you to request additional information.” I also just noticed at the top it said this: “Peace Corps sent you an important letter regarding the status of your application on April 22, 2009. Please review the contents of the letter and contact the Peace Corps if you have questions” NERVOUS NERVOUS NERVOUS!!! (this is exactly 9 weeks after they had acquired all of the forms)

April 25, 2009 – get a letter in the mail saying I am not medically qualified; there is no information on how to appeal the decision, only on how to review the decision, and I can’t call the office till Monday because they are closed on Saturday and Sunday. I was also dumped a couple days earlier so this is quite possibly the worst 48 hours of my life.

May 15, 2009 – fax in appeal letters from myself, my doctor, and my former therapist

May 18 – Fax in appeal letters again; screening nurse told me that the fax came out with marks on it and missing words; I find a different fax machine (Kinko’s) and do it over again; I called the next day to make sure everything was set and she said it was.

May 29 – Call my screening nurse to see what’s up with my appeal. She said that my MNQ got lifted! Apparently it never even went to the board, some guy in charge of mental health screening looked at it and thought I was ok. So, according to her, they need to finish looking at my medical forms (should happen in the next couple weeks) and then they can finish medically clearing me and then find a program for me. I’m more than likely going to miss my original nomination but I’m still being considered! Yay!

June 5, 2009 – Get a call from my screening nurse; I have to fill out more paperwork – a form about my history of migraines and also a glucose and lipid test because I have a BMI over 30 (I don't consider myself "overweight;" I'm 4'11 and NOT 90 lbs, so yes, I have a high BMI) She said she’s sending it to me.

June 6, 2009 – toolkit updates at 5:15, saying: “HOLD. All nominees have a medical hold while they are under review. No further action from you is required, unless the Office of Medical Services contacts you to request additional information.”

So just waiting for the forms to come to my house so I can get them filled out ASAP and then back in; my goal is to have all forms in by the end of June

June 17, 2009 – Fax extra tests and forms to my screening nurse; now waiting for final medical clearance (I think…)

June 18, 2009 – Toolkit Update: Hold removed and it says: “Your file is currently under consideration. Please review the information on this page to determine whether Peace Corps is awaiting any information from you”

June 30, 2009 – missed a call from my screening nurse, argh! Said that it appeared I had everything and to call her tomorrow for an update

July 1 – get a hold of my screening nurse and she said she is going to medically clear me; still waiting for the official stuff though (toolkit update, letter in the mail) and then I can maybe actually feel excited

July 9, 2009 – now I know why I was waiting to be excited; because nothing actually happened yet and looks like I have to wait even more to be medically cleared. The screening nurse informed me that I needed to fill out more forms and she’s flagging my file.

July 16 – Get even more forms are filled out and go to Matt’s house afterward and use his fax machine so I don’t have to pay over a dollar a page at Kinko’s

July 17, 2009 – Toolkit Update, with this under medical: Complete. A decision has been reached regarding your medical review. Please look for a letter in the mail; this is usually the medical clearance message, so YAY!, but I probably won’t know officially until Saturday or Monday when the letter arrives

July 20, 2009 – receive an email from the placement office; APO is requested final transcripts and an updated volunteer work resume; got my unofficial transcripts from the registrar (they don’t need official ones) and started putting together the resume

July 21, 2009 – Faxed in transcript and updated resume; got an email from an Africa placement intern confirming that the transcript had been received; she did not say that the resume had been received, so I responded to her asking if it had been received

July 22, 2009 – Received response email from placement intern; resume did get there as well

July 24, 2009 – Called screening nurse because I still had not gotten letter saying I was medically cleared. Turns out my paperwork that I had faxed in got lost in the bureaucratic shuffle and she had never seen it. Called me back to tell me she found it and she was passing it on to the medical director or something; they would know by noon. Argh.

July 24, 2009 – Screening nurse calls a little before noon and informs me that I’m all set and medically qualified; there is a letter in the mail indicating this. FINALLY

July 27, 2009 – Receive letter in mail that says I am “medically qualified for service where [my] mental health condition can be accommodated.” Happy I am MEDICALLY CLEARED AFTER FIVE MONTHS, but I was never told anything about a medical accommodation, so I’m kind of nervous.

July 29, 2009 – Receive email from APO saying she hadn’t received resume yet, even though I faxed it with the resume and the intern said it had arrived (I had sent her an email either yesterday or in the morning). I re-faxed it

July 30, 2009 – email APO and ask if she got the resume, she said she did. I received a call from a placement officer but I missed it!!! Argh! I tried calling her back but just left a message.

July 31, 2009 – called back my PO while I was on a break at work. She asked me a couple questions, such as what I’ve been doing since I applied to prepare myself. I told her the long process and original rejection has really allowed me to think about how badly I want to do this, I’ve been doing some volunteer work, and I’ve done lots of research on the Peace Corps. She also said getting a rejection overturned was rare, so she congratulated me. She also asked what challenges I think I might face and how my parents felt about me joining. She said she thought I was qualified for service and found a program that could accommodate me in francophone Africa leaving early October to do health education. However, another PO is in charge of the program so she’s passing my file onto her (the new PO might call me to ask me more questions or just might send out the invite), but she said I should have my invite in a week or two. YAYYY!!! If I’ve done my research thoroughly (and I think I have, haha) I’m guessing it will be either Niger or Burkina Faso, but I’m leaning towards Burkina because research also tells me that Niger in October is for agfo. However, anything is possible and I’ll be thrilled with anything! I never thought this point would actually come! Yayyy!!!

August 2, 2009 – Toolkit update; checkmark next to place; there are no holds on my account! Yay!

August 4, 2009 – Toolkit update; Congratulations! You’ve been invited to become a Peace Corps volunteer! My invite is in the mail!

August 10, 2009 – RECEIVE INVITE IN THE MAIL!!: “Congratulations! It is with great pleasure that we invite you to begin training in Niger for Peace Corps service!” YAYYY!!!

August 13, 2009 – Call to accept invite!!

August 14, 2009 – Toolkit update: Congratulations! You have accepted your invitation to serve in Niger. You will soon be receiving additional information from your country desk, the travel office, and the office of staging about preparing for service.

August 17, 2009 – send in visa and passport applications

August 18, 2009 – I am paranoid about sending my passport in the mail and call FedEx to check on the delivery; it was delivered and reached the intended destination!

August 21, 2009 – Send in aspiration statement and resume

August 22, 2009 – and it’s been a year since I applied!

Welcome to my blog!

Sannu!

With about a month until I leave, I've FINALLY created a blog to chronicle my experiences as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Niger. I'm not sure how often I'll get to update in Niger but I'll do my best. By the way, this blog is mine personally and does not reflect in any way the opinions of the Peace Corps, the U.S Government, or the government of Niger.