Long time, no post, some BIG changes

So I know I had said about a month ago that I’d post in 2 weeks; obviously that didn’t happen. We are told to expect the unexpected in Peace Corps, and sure enough, I’ve gotten the unexpected; the ultimate in unexpected.

The day after my 23rd birthday (which was fun; we just hung out, played cards, and attempted to make candied popcorn, which was delish even if it didn’t come out right) we were put on standfast for a couple hours, followed by consolidation. Those are Peace Corps speak for not being allowed to leave your village (standfast) and then all volunteers/trainees being placed into secure areas, like the regional hostels or, in our case, the training center in Hamdallaye (consolidation). We were told that the reason being the consolidation was there had been an attempted kidnapping of embassy workers in Tahoua (a town about 500K from Hamdy), carried out by the Islamic Maghreb faction of Al-Qaeda. As a precaution, all vols. and trainees were put into consolidation, since nobody knew whether or not the attack was geared specifically towards Americans or not.

We continued with our classes at the training center, which I didn’t mind at first but after a while I, and a lot of others, were starting to get really restless and stir-crazy since we weren’t allowed to leave at first (although later on, they let us leave in groups and only during the daytime). I also started to miss my host family, my village, and having my own space. We were originally told it would last a couple days but it wound up lasting 2 weeks. During that period, I developed an addiction to Six Feet Under, since I had heard about the show, had been told I would like it, and Erin has the DVDs. I also developed Giardia, which was, pun intended, really shitty. Take the wateriest diarrhea you can imagine and multiply it by 10. Sorry to be gross, but bodily functions seem to be a totally normal and acceptable conversation topic amongst us. It was the first time I got sick since being in Niger, and I guess the training center’s not a bad place to get sick because there’s an air-conditioned infirmary and flush toilets with toilet paper. I knew it was going to happen eventually (fun fact: Niger has the most cases of diarrhea per volunteer than any other Peace Corps country) but I survived and I’m doing much better now.

So the day before Thanksgiving (and the day our consolidation was supposed to end) our country director was scheduled to come in and talk to us. The rumors started buzzing and people were wondering what she was coming to talk to us about. I just figured she was going to update us on the situation, and maybe consolidation would be extended another couple days.

Wrong.

She informed us that Niger was still staying open to Peace Corps but they were trying to cut down on the number of people in the country for security reasons. Current volunteers have been offered I.S., COSers went home early. And she told us that since we were easier to move than installed volunteers and we were still new to Niger and didn’t really know what normal and not normal look like in Niger, we weren’t going to be able to continue as trainees and volunteers in Niger.

They were planning on sending our entire training class to Madagascar.

As I write this, I am in Paris, about to make my way to Antananarivo, the capitol of Madagascar, where I will start training all over, swear in as a volunteer, and complete my two years of service (well, hopefully). Madagascar closed to Peace Corps in March because of a coup, but we will be reopening the country! It’s exciting in that regard and I’m pretty sure moving an entire stage to another country is a first in Peace Corps history, but I’m nervous about the stability, in addition to many, many other things.

It took a while to hit me. I know evacuations happen in Peace Corps sometimes but I really didn’t think it would happen in Niger. Niger has been open to Peace Corps since 1961 and has NEVER closed, even with military coups. Our country director had brought a couple of volunteers who had served in M-car and transferred to Niger to tell us about the country. I listened, but it still hadn’t hit me. Twenty minutes later, I completely broke down in the refectoire (where we eat our meals), sobbing uncontrollably, and couldn’t stop for the rest of the night and even the next day, Thanksgiving (although I had it more under control by then). This was also while I had Giardia, so I was feeling doubly horrible and couldn’t even resort to eating my feelings on Thanksgiving, (even though people prepared some awesome food) because nothing stayed down. Or in, rather.

I REALLY didn’t want to leave Niger; I still wish I didn’t have to. When I first found out I was coming to Niger, I was kind of intimidated because it’s the least developed country in the world, but I absolutely loved the 6 weeks I spent there. While I encountered a couple frustrations, I still had an incredible time. My host family was amazing, as are all Nigeriens. I loved my fu (Zarma for house, and I loved inserting Zarma words into English sentences), a little hut with a decent sized enclosure and a huge neem tree providing shade almost 24 hours a day. I loved sleeping outside, with just my mosquito net separating me from the vast sky filled with stars. My family’s concession contained sheep about 10 feet away from my hut, countless roosters that ran around everywhere, and two cows right on the other side of my wall. Although the sheep and roosters woke me up at 5 a.m. every day (and if they didn’t, the 5:45 a.m. call to prayer took care of it), I loved my hut, concession, and training village (way better than Hamdallaye, where the Hausa speakers lived). I LOVED the heat; it was well over 100 everyday our first few weeks here and got cooler in November. It’s freezing in the mornings now (and by freezing I mean probably low 70s). And I really *was* looking forward to hot season, where its 90 by the time you wake up and gets up to 130 in the afternoon. I loved the wave of confidence that came over me when I could string together two sentences in Zarma and carry on a rudimentary conversation with someone; sadly this just started AFTER I found out I was leaving Niger.

I had mentally prepared to come to Niger, an impoverished country, and work as a Community Health Agent. I had expected, and embraced, not having electricity or running water, peeing in a hole, showering with a bucket, having to dress and act conservatively. Niger is truly the real Peace Corps experience; more focus on integration, we don’t learn the colonial language, no running water, electricity, or frequent internet. While applying to the Peace Corps, I spent lots of time researching each country I could potentially be invited to serve in, and I stopped researching Madagascar because it closed and I thought there was no chance I’d ever wind up there, so the whole not knowing thing freaks me out too. From what I’ve heard, Madagascar seems very different from all of that when the two volunteers were telling us about it. It’s much more liberal and the people there don’t really consider themselves African, and while it’s technically a part of Africa, its nothing like the rest of the continent. It’s got a lot more infrastructure and tourism, and isn’t as underdeveloped as Niger. There’s a lot of Asian influence and the people, culture, geography, etc. are different from anywhere else in Africa, let alone the world. In that regard, it seems exciting, and slowly, I started to warm up to the idea. However, we were told that Madagascar might not be able to take all of us and some people would be placed elsewhere in West Africa, so I talked to my training director and volunteered to be one of the people who stayed somewhere in West Africa (we were told Mali and Burkina Faso could be possibilities, and I would’ve LOVED to serve in Burkina; it was at the top of my country “wish list”). Some people immediately seemed sold on going to Madagascar, and I wasn’t one of those people. I had wanted to be a volunteer in Africa and get the true Africa experience and the true Peace Corps experience, which seemed more possible in West Africa than in M-car. It wasn’t that I was unwilling to go to Madagascar; I’d just be willing to be one of those who was separated from the group and serve elsewhere.

I was told the next day that all of us, except for those who were not medically qualified, would be going to Madagascar. I was, and still am, more than willing to go, but I was skeptical. My sector also changed; instead of doing health I’ll be doing Secondary English Education, which also threw me for a loop; I didn’t think I was qualified to do anything *but* health. A lot of people who are strong in French got placed in education, so I wonder if that has something to do with it. I love kids, am passionate about education, and possibly want a future in education, so I’m starting to warm up to it. I still plan on seeing if I can do health-related secondary projects.

So all over again, just as I had been prior to leaving the states for Niger, I wear myself out by vacillating between being really excited and being really scared, nervous, anxious, etc. And it changes several times a day as well. Disappointment and anger still linger as well, however, despite me sounding kind of negative right now, I really, truly am grateful that Peace Corps has worked this out for us. If the opportunity to send us all to Madagascar hadn’t arisen, I’d be back in the states and trying to re-enroll. It sounds crazy, but I think that this will be a bigger adjustment for me than coming to Niger was. I’m familiar and comfortable with West Africa; I feel at home here. Niger didn’t feel like a huge leap for me because of my experience in West Africa; Niger is a lot like Senegal, except hotter and more conservative. The work in Madagascar also seems a lot more structured as well (especially since I’m doing education) thus prompting more nervousness at how much more responsibility it seems like I’ll have. Teaching methods, commanding students’ respect, grading, how to grade, how to operate within the Madagascar school system, etc. I’ll be teaching at least 15-18 hours a week to the equivalent of middle and/or high school students. I’m really looking forward to being taught how to teach; the Madagascar volunteers said it was a good program, and I definitely need all the help I can get.

I also know, deep down, that once I get there and get acquainted, things will be okay and I will love it. I try to tell myself this, but often, other thoughts crowd my mind, and it just still seems so unreal that this is actually happening. I also usually believe that things happen for a reason; I believed that the reason I didn’t leave for Peace Corps in July like originally planned was so that I would be able to come to Niger, the poorest country in the world, and be able to do great work and help people just meet basic needs. I’m trying to think this way about Madagascar, I want to think there is a reason its happening, but I’m not sure what it is yet. I guess I’ll find out soon

Kudos to you if you made it through the epic length of this post; next time I post it will be in Madagascar!!